The Mangled Mouth

By all means!

2010-05-24T02:43:00.000-07:00

Why please read this blog and by all means post your thoughts and ideas on any subjects, I like to have people walk around my brain and point out and comment on the things that hit home with them! I feel that by sharing ideas and thoughts, we can all evolve ourselves and learn and perhaps get the F off this planet if only in our thoughts for a moment!

A Hicksian Approach

2010-05-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

"We're a Virus with shoes"

"As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people."

"It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one." - (all) Bill Hicks

Happiness doesn't depend on anything that has or has not happened in the past, nor does it depend on your future prospects. The simple fact is, in order to be happy: YOU MUST DECIDE TO BE HAPPY.

Yep. Isn't that aggravating? You can't blame it on anyone else, and no one else can do a thing for you. You've just got to decide to be happy, whether or not your logical mind thinks it is rational to be happy and whether or not your moral sense thinks you deserve to be happy. You absolutely will not be happy for any length of time until you decide to, and if you decide to, you can be happy in the face of the most miserable circumstances. _author unknown.

For some time here in my life and due to some nightmarish childhood visions that my mind harbors in things that happened to me or that i participated in, I've searched for the meaning in myself and others, something that I believe we all do from time to time in our lives some perhaps more than others. I am writing this blog in a 'free-floating blog style' which is in a rough draft sort of style. I don't have the patience at this time to correct anything and unapologetically am going to let the thoughts and words and letters flow from my soul to my heart and then through my fingertips to the keyboard and with any interest on your part into your mind for a few precious moments.

Precious moments. Those are every single bit of time that we have on this planet.

TIME-the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another.

THAT is our current definition taken from Webster's Dictionary and universally accepted as the base or basis of what we as humans perceive to be 'TIME'. We start out with an allotted time slot that our genetics have gifted or afforded us. How long an organism lives is called its life span. In 1998, the average life span for a human, worldwide, was sixty-six years. However, life span is a complex trait, meaning that many factors, including Family history, lifestyle, disease, and residence in a developed nation, determine how long an individual's life will be. The average life span in a particular population changes as these factors change. For example, the average life span in the United States in 1900 was forty-nine; in 1998 it was seventy-seven.

So because of a jump in the hygiene market we exceeded a predicted demise for some. I do not want to get lost in the endless debate of overpopulation or the usage (or wastefulness) of the resources on this planet. Although all contributing factors really should not and truly cannot be ignored when factoring in our time here on earth, I feel that it strays from the more personal and human issues that I want to stress in this blog.

So more to the point, and more of an elaboration of a former post, I cannot stress enough the fact that this life we are all leading has to come to some definitive end or culmination of our time spent here on earth.

As many of you know, my mother died in February of this year. It's something that my heart and soul cannot possibly understand accept really or even agree with. It is truly unreal even to this day and although I try to pretend everyday that it hasn't happened, I know that it really did. My Mom is buried under six feet of dirt and ground in a box that my sister and I picked out because we thought she would have liked it. She WOULD Have..had she still been alive to pick it out. She trusted us with these things, I suppose. Alive. Thats something that i never thought that my Mom wouldn't be. My heart wouldn't let my mind conceive of it because of what a shining light she was for me and everyone in this family. Although I may share this type of belief or perception of my mother or the ones who bared me with so many other people around the globe that has lost one of these 'loved ones', I feel separated from the fact.

#1 I have watched how other people in my extended family treat each other and discard the ones that love them to the side like so much refuse. I have witnessed people become more swallowed up in their own little worlds and crush everyone that is a featherweight more happy than they might be. I have been there to see the ones closest utterly crush and destroy the bonds and bridges that otherwise held them together for reasons that only served selfish needs.

This was not in any case emancipation from any kind of oppression but from the sheer thought that someone might per chance be happier than they were at that fleeting moment.

My brain cannot muster the ideology behind these moves and is now unfortunately trying to decipher these things and fit them into the chain of events leading to this subtraction of being. I cannot think of a one! Is it ignorance on my part? Unlikely.

I have to say at this point that although I have many faults as those closest to me know especially in the recesses of their hearts ( because that is where i have forced them to put everything), I could never treat anyone that I have come into contact with in my awakening as trash. ESPECIALLY family!

There is something bigger than we are folks, I promise! Can't you feel it? This life or universe as we perceive it is chalked with questions even now in this day and age that is BEGGING for exploration. I am not just talking about the universe itself but perhaps the inner-verse which we tend to ignore and only pay attention to the outer parts of ourselves! This is not the ramblings or rantings of one who is trying to place himself in the universe of all things and make importance of his being. This is one who is seeing the bigger picture of who or what they may be in relation to every other living and sentient being in the conundrum of life!

I asked my mother one day seriously, "What if God doesn't exist? What if the life you lived according to him and his 'will' was all for not and you found that he never existed?" I thought that this should surely shake her thoughts and perhaps even her foundation which was built solely on the word of God that she had learned all her life. It didn't. She replied,

" Then I have lived a good life and I could never be ashamed or regretful of that."

To this day those words resonate with me and I understand that no matter what my beliefs may be or what doctrine I may perceive to be the truth, I understand that being good means so many things and that they are wholesome.

–adjective

morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious: a good man.

satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree: a good teacher; good health.

of high quality; excellent.

right; proper; fit: It is good that you are here. His credentials are good.

well-behaved: a good child.

kind, beneficent, or friendly: to do a good deed.

honorable or worthy; in good standing: a good name.

educated and refined: She has a good background.

financially sound or safe: His credit is good.

10.

genuine; not counterfeit: a good quarter.

11.

sound or valid: good judgment; good reasons.

12.

reliable; dependable; responsible: good advice.

13.

healthful; beneficial: Fresh fruit is good for you.

14.

in excellent condition; healthy: good teeth.

15.

not spoiled or tainted; edible; palatable: The meat was still good after three months in the freezer.

16.

favorable; propitious: good news.

17.

cheerful; optimistic; amiable: in good spirits.

18.

free of distress or pain; comfortable: to feel good after surgery.

19.

agreeable; pleasant: Have a good time.

20.

attractive; handsome: She has a good figure.

21.

(of the complexion) smooth; free from blemish.

22.

close or intimate; warm: She's a good friend of mine.

23.

sufficient or ample: a good supply.

24.

advantageous; satisfactory for the purpose: a good day for fishing.

25.

competent or skillful; clever: a good manager; good at arithmetic.

26.

skillfully or expertly done: a really good job; a good play.

27.

conforming to rules of grammar, usage, etc.; correct: goodEnglish.

28.

socially proper: good manners.

29.

remaining available to one: Don't throw good money after bad.

30.

comparatively new or of relatively fine quality: Don't play in the mud in your good clothes.

31.

best or most dressy: He wore his good suit to the office today.

32.

full: a good day's journey away.

33.

fairly large or great: a good amount.

34.

free from precipitation or cloudiness: good weather.

35.

Medicine/Medical. (of a patient's condition) having stable and normal vital signs, being conscious and comfortable, and having excellent appetite, mobility, etc.

36.

fertile; rich: good soil.

37.

loyal: a good Democrat.

38.

(of a return or service in tennis, squash, handball, etc.) landing within the limits of a court or section of a court.

39.

Horse Racing. (of the surface of a track) drying after a rain so as to be still slightly sticky: This horse runs best on a good track.

40.

(of meat, esp. beef) noting or pertaining to the specific grade below “choice,” containing more lean muscle and less edible fat than “prime” or “choice.”

41.

favorably regarded (used as an epithet for a ship, town, etc.): the good ship Syrena.

–noun

42.

profit or advantage; worth; benefit: What good will that do? We shall work for the common good.

43.

excellence or merit; kindness: to do good.

44.

moral righteousness; virtue: to be a power for good.

45.

(esp. in the grading of U.S. beef) an official grade below that of “choice.”

46.

goods,

possessions, esp. movable effects or personal property.

articles of trade; wares; merchandise: canned goods.

Informal. what has been promised or is expected: to deliver the goods.

Informal. the genuine article.

Informal. evidence of guilt, as stolen articles: to catch someone with the goods.

cloth or textile material: top-quality linen goods.

Chiefly British. merchandise sent by land, rather than by water or air.

47.

the good,

the ideal of goodness or morality.

good things or persons collectively.

–interjection

48.

(used as an expression of approval or satisfaction): Good! Now we can all go home.

–adverb

49.

Informal. well.

—Idioms

50.

as good as. as¹ (def. 22).

51.

come to no good, to end in failure or as a failure: Her jealous relatives said that she would come to no good.

52.

for good, finally and permanently; forever: to leave the country for good. Also, for good and all.

53.

good and, Informal. very; completely; exceedingly: This soup is good and hot.

54.

good for,

certain to repay (money owed) because of integrity, financial stability, etc.

the equivalent in value of: Two thousand stamps are good for one coffeepot.

able to survive or continue functioning for (the length of time or the distance indicated): These tires are good for another 10,000 miles.

valid or in effect for (the length of time indicated): a license good for one year.

(used as an expression of approval): Good for you!

55.

good full, Nautical. (of a sail or sails) well filled, esp. when sailing close to the wind; clean full; rap full.

56.

make good,

to make recompense for; repay.

to implement an agreement; fulfill.

to be successful.

to substantiate; verify.

to carry out; accomplish; execute: The convicts made good their getaway.

57.

no good, without value or merit; worthless; contemptible:The check was no good.

58.

to the good,

generally advantageous: That's all to the good, but what do I get out of it?

richer in profit or gain: When he withdrew from the partnership, he was several thousand dollars to the good.

Numbers 10 and 12 are my favorite! Though I have failed miserably at #12 in my past and continue to do so ( I am trying to warm up to this one). So I suppose that the definitions and parameters of GOOD and WHOLESOME could be up for debate.

Whatever.

These are the English definitions of this word and they seem to be universally accepted and I will not entertain the semantics of their origins or meanings. This is what GOOD means and it was established a long long time ago. AND Although I am all for pushing and breaking boundaries, I feel that this is not game worthy of pursuing!

THIS BLOG TO BE CONTINUED AS IT IS 2AM AND i AM FALLING ASLEEP!

Magic:The Druthering

2010-04-13T10:15:00.001-07:00

Shubgorn played a land card for his first turn and then with that land he payed for a mana producing creature card. He smiled the toothy smile of someone who knows something that the other could not possibly know, and layed back in his "Stone Chair of Doom" as he called it and waited for his opponent to make his move. Burbur-Nog already had a landcard out as it was he who went first. He looked at his hand quisitively and smiled that same smile back at Shubgorn. He drew a card and played another land. Without breaking eye contact with Shubgorn, he pulled out a card, tapped both his lands to pay for it and cast an "Eye of Decieving Blight" card.

Shubgorn sat straight up in his chair eyes wide and read the card carefully.

"Creature-Slug. A 2/2 creature with an ability. Hmm," he said aloud and stroked his second chin,"Target player must now shrug his shoulders uncontrollably until next turn." Not so bad he thought to himself. Just then his shoulders began to shudder slightly. He was startled at first but realized it was nothing. He laughed at Burber-Nog heartily and sat back in his cold stone chair. "Hahaha! Pathetic." It was now his turn and he began to draw a card when his shoulders jerked his hand back violently. He looked at his shoulders in dismay as they began to betray him in a very disconcerting way. They shook so much that he felt they might come straight out their sockets! Across from him and in a stone chair of his own, Burbur-Nog chuckled an evil chuckle.

Shubgorn was turning red and angrily tried to control his tremoring. He untapped his land and drew another card. Shaking still, he tapped his land and the mana producing creature and paid for the card he just drew. "HA! Echoes of Skin!!" he exclaimed.

Burber-Nog stood up and leaned over the large stone table to read the card. The lighting was bad in the cave, but he could make it out. It read; Sorcery: Echoes of Skin peels any skin that would be covered by hair or have hair growing out from it including ear follicle.

Burbur-Nog looked up at Shubgorn whose shoulders were shaking and whose mouth was curled in a wicked grinchy smile.

Burbur felt a chill infiltrate his body that made his skin crawl! Suddenly and without tenderness, his eyebrows began to tear from his face! He tried to trap them from falling off his face but a force held his hands an inch away from them. When they had finally ripped clean away, his hair began peeling back off his head. He screamed a little and a small tear ecaped his eyebrow-less eye. Shubgorn was now rolling and shaking on the ground in utter joyful laughter and was crying tears of his own!

With the top of his skull showing and now completely hairless, including his ear hair which was the last to go and shot out like so many flying arrows soaring across the sky, he sat quivering a little and in some pain. He drew a card, it was now his turn. Across from him, Shubgorn regained some composure and quaked in his chair.

Burbur-Nog played a land card and now had three in which to use. He tapped all three lands. Still shook from it all and played a card.

"What now? Some piddly thing I suppose." This time Shub came around to Burbur's side of the large stone table and read the card aloud.

"Duly Noted, what kind of name for a card is that? It means nothing." Shub huffed. Burbur lifted the card to his opponents ugly mottled face and pointed out the small text near the bottom of the card.

From somewhere on his body, Shub pulled out his reading focles, he read slowly, "Owner of Duly Noted reveals a card from his hand of his choosing and plays it if his opponent shows any fear or apprehension of card shown." Shub turned slowly to Burbur and staring him right in the face was a card called "Taker of the Small Things". There was no other text, but Shub knew this card well and fear washed over his face thus activating the card. In a mild shock, shub ran toward the cave's exit but then remembered that they had blocked the opening with a large stone that could only be moved by two persons. Upon this recollection, he stopped cowered and dribbled on himself in anticipation.

'The small things', he thought to himself.

Five creepy gnarled hands appeared from nowhere at his feet and began crawling up his legs except for one that stopped at his feet. The hand began first by unlacing Shubgorn's dilapidated shoes and then gingerly peeled off his stenchy socks. Then the hand not so gingerly began to pluck the toes right off Shubgorn's rickety body. He screamed in pain and his cries were joined by laughter from somewhere deep in the cave from Burbur.

Shubgorn lumbered back to the table, his breathing hard and raspy, sat back down in his Chair of Doom and quickly untapped his lands and drew his next card. Without fingers (he lost all his toes, fingers, a bellybutton, and two nipples) he slid a card over with his nubs and flipped it over with his teeth.

"HA! Take this!" He exclaimed and managed a maniacal smile. At least his shoulders had stopped shaking at this point.

Burbur-Nog stopped rolling on the ground from laughter and got up with a second wind to see what spell that nipple-less cretan had cast.

"Oh FargleSlum!" Burbur-Nog exclaimed which meant something not very nice and he quickly hid under the table. The card was just this; "Tell It On The Mountain": target player now has potty mouth for the rest of the game.

"Faleagle Greeble! Carmothinous Slag! Furgus Durgus!" Burbur-Nog could not help his filthy mouth that would never kiss his mother again. He was forced to shout as hard and high as his voice could manage as many obscenities as he knew which unfortunately for him was e numerous.

Shubgorn squealed with monstrous delight and could barely contain himself.

From out the table Burbur came out and dove for his card library and madly drew a card.

"Farkle farkle farkledrip!"

Shubgorn's laughter stopped as his eyes fell on the card just played. He turned white and he swore his heart stopped for a moment.

"Gribbledungformelyope!" There was an unendurable and wretched smile on Burbur-Nog's scaly face. Shubgorn knew this card as well.

"Thorg: God of Ball and Cup. A 1000/2000 legendary beast. Ability: You become the ball for his cup." (Not that type of cup or ball, get your mind out of the gutter and back on the impending atrocity that is Thorg!)"

Shub frantically looked for some kind of counter spell that he may have somehow overlooked in his hand. There was none. Then there was an awful scraping sound that reverberated inside the cave as the large stone that blocked the exit rolled right out of the way. Shub felt his stomach turn and the shaking was back, but it was all him! There at the entrance and blocking out the sun was Thog God of Ball and Cup with Ball and Cup in hand. He eyed Shub and started toward him and was right in front of Shub in three steps which for Shub had been like at least ten! The giant wearing only a small animal skin to cover his unmentionables plopped right down and snatched a fearful Shub right off the ground. Thog proceeded to untie the ball from the string it was attached to and replaced it with Shubgorn. The string itself was attached to the cup which had a long handle for which Thog could hold it. Just then, Thog stood up and actually had to duck a bit in the cave. Thog paid no attention to the pathetic creature on the ground writhing in laughter and pain. He didn't like all the nasty things coming out from it's mouth but ignored it anyway. He found his new toy and began to play with it.

Shubgorn bounced clumsily and noisily. He could feel a certain number of bones cracking and snapping all over and did not hold his screams in not one bit!

"You win! You win! Make it stop!"

Thog bounced him harder and with glee! Thog loved Ball and Cup, he could never lose at it. Except for once. It was back when he was small Thog, but that was a long time ago. The anger of the memory came flooding back anyway and Thog bounced his new ball even harder and with tremendous force!

Shubgorn lost. For sure and thoroughly. But the two would be at it again when their wounds were healed because they loved the game and would'nt stop playing for the world!

The Missionary Position

2010-03-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

A bit more elaboration of my Facebook post for those who care.

Mission Street Park! I remember loving that dumb little minuscule park! There wasn't too much to it folks, just a couple slides, a jungle gym and a carousel wheel! I think there might even have been a sandbox. It was sandwiched between two houses, one of which I had been in because it had been a friend of my grandmother's. My Sis, Bro and I would get to go down there with Mom before our father got home. He actually didn't like us going out of the house so much and we sometimes would live in terror of that, but when Mom would sneak us out it always became the time of our lives! I remember that every time we went, we'd take in the full effect of the park! We went on everything, slides, jungle gyms, we'd run through the grass, and perhaps even tried to climb the trees!

My Mom would sit there on a bench table loving us from a distance. There were no cell phones way back then, so she would either bring a book or just watch us! But thats not all she did! Mom loved to be a kid too! In fact years later one of her online monikers would turn out to be 'Big Kid'. My Mom would run with us, play with us and even kick a ball back and forth with us! God, my Mom was great! She loved being with us so much! We were the delight in her day, the light to her darkness, I know this now! She loved us more than anything and indeed sacrificed so very much for us to be happy! By god, she did a great job and it really paid off! Any one of us could be in dire straits now if it weren't for her love and devotion to us!

But getting back to Mission St.

The particular memory that is in my head is the day we were visited by a someone at the park. His Name was Jerry. Jerry was a friend of my Mom's and I think my Mom knew he loved her ( though he would not be able to be with her for quite some time). He loved us kids too! Just like she did, unconditionally! It was such a great feeling! We loved when he would come around, it lifted our hearts as well as our Mom's! (Especially our Mom's!) I remember that he was alot like Mom and would play with us! He'd run with us, he'd kick ball with us and everything! Jerry was Mom's perfect match and that was only a big fat plus for us kids!!!

That particular day we wanted Jerry to spin us in the carousel wheel! We loved that stupid dilapidated wheel! He agreed with a to be expected hesitancy. He was thinking of our safety. But with three children goading him into it and the love of his life maybe even encouraging it, he caved and decided he would give us a spin Now we all knew Jerry was strong, so Tony, Ruth and myself braced tightly! Jerry grabbed a rung and we began our maddening churn, Around and around we went! One of us (probably me) yelled 'faster!', Tony had already had enough and was looking languid and Ruth was probably holding on for dear life! But in the same moment we were all LOVING IT!!! I am pretty sure I was about ready to lose my lunch as we spun faster and faster. Jerry had already stopped spinning us, but the momentum proved to be too much!!! One of us (Tony or myself I can't really remember) finally went hurdling into a tree!!! Another flew out and onto the ground! Jerry and my Mom went rushing to our rescue! We were OK. Perhaps just a little dustier and a bit more weary of carousels afterward! But we were OK. I remember how sorry and bad Jerry had felt, but we were not mad at him not in the least! We had gotten the ride of our life and had asked for it!

That was one of the best days of my life! I remember it as though it were yesterday! Even if it was my body that flung into the tree and slunk down it's side like a heavy sack of potatoes, I would so do it all over again! I miss those times even though they were shrouded in fears of other things that were happening in our lives. It was a beautiful day and there were oh so many more like this! I miss my Mom so very much and it pains my days at every turn, but thankfully we still have Jerry, and we know that he still loves us the very same as when he met us, unconditionally! We are among the luckiest kids on earth to have two such loving and wonderful Parents! I wouldn't trade them or the time we shared for an eternity in Heaven or anything in the world at all!

Juggernaut (midget morticians)

2010-03-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

Been dry for days

i cried the tears impossible

some left to say

your dreams cannot be possible

but through the haze

i feel the blank ethereal

So what's to say?

there's something more than who we are

No! you got to be!

Strong is my memory!

Hold on to the pain!

Slow is the drain!

How is it there?

Can you see my soul from here?

death's tragic stare

magnetic thoughts

do draw me near

and what of peace

i wrap the stones around me

against belief

you're here with me,

i swear I'll follow!

Then And Here: A Zombie's Journey

2010-03-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

'Jesus Christ, here we go again...'

Her large makeup laden countenance stared back at him with dead hollow eyes. Her cheeks were working overtime now and in fact were on vacation at this point, thought Felix Loop, 34. She chewed heavily and with her mouth agape. Felix watched disgustedly as the test gum inside her cavernous maw was tossed viscously from the right to the left in a manner that he thought was probably not unlike a cow chewing it's cud. Her high blonde wig was tight and in 1960's curlers that were a sky blue and did not remotely match her makeup or dress which were both heavy and loud!

Not that Felix Loop ever really cared about what people wore or how they fixed their faces up for public consumption. One could just as soon wear a pair of leather assless chaps, a chiffon T-shirt with sequins and top the entire cacophony off with a fedora made from rare peregrin falcon hyde for all he cared! Well at least that may be how Felix Loop used to feel before his job of six years at the local gum factory MyxoCorp. Felix Loop, 34 had found himself in the unflattering and unenviable floor position of Bad Breath Tester.

Felix tested on average about 150 mouths a day. He would begin from 6am to 2pm in the afternoon. The job did not pay well and gave him terrible nightmares about stranger's mouths chasing him and trying to eat him. Also, Felix' sense of smell had been altered after six years of people breathing in his face day in and day out. But that's not the worst of it. A simple trip to the grocery store can always turn ugly when he gets in line to pay. Inevitably displayed flanking either side of him would be walls of gum encroaching upon him as though he were Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea and at any moment they would come crashing down and bury him alive under peppermint and spearmint. What the hell is spearmint anyway? He thought to himself.

Felix realized that the 'cud-lady' had stopped chewing and was waiting for him to give her the go-ahead. He nodded and tightly closed his eyes. He could hear her throat open up and greedily swallow the air in front of him. His fingers gripped the cold hard and unforgiving plastic arms of the chair he sat in and Felix braced himself.

Whoosh!

Her breath rushed at him like a swarm of angered Africanized Killer Bees. His hair tossed in the maelstrom and he swore that he felt tears coming. He inhaled it deeply and kept his lunch in check. Four seconds later the assault was, and no thanks to god, over! On his "Effects of Product Checklist" he marked "No" for the "Wintry Breath" question. OK, four more good inhales from 'cud-lady's' breath and he could move on to number 86 who was already diligently chewing his gum and life away obviously over eager to breath directly into Felix' face to some kind of personal satisfaction. God help me, he thought, but for Felix Loop there was no god and only a lackadaisical tabby cat mooching off him and his shabby apartment on Wallow St, NowhereLand U.S.A.

(to be continued...its 2am and i've been writing this half asleep as it is)

Beware the travelling

2010-03-23T01:28:00.000-07:00

From the other room he could hear the dragging. His muscles tensed as he tried in desperation to somehow make his body smaller, more compact to hide in the shallow recess of the closet. Cold sweat dribbled down from his forehead down to his lips where it lingered and he tasted the virulent saltiness. The dragging feet were closer now to his bedroom and it was as though his entire house had grown silent holding it's own breath in tangible fear! Under the door of the closet light spilled in a sickly lime luminescence over his hardwood floor. He watched intently for the shadow he knew would soon arrive. He pushed himself closer to the back of the closet and squished up against the wall. His breathing was shallow but becoming more rapid. Then he noticed something and every hair stood on the back of his neck. The house was still and quiet, the dragging had stopped. There was no shadow at the closet blotting out the light and from the bathroom he could hear the familiarity of his leaky faucet.

It seemed an eternity had gone by. His fists clung tightly to the clothes hanging on his wife's side and couldn't let go. He waited. Finally, he inched toward the closet door and began to open it ever so gently. It did not creak. Silently he pried it open and looked out into the dark room. There was nothing. The water kept dripping and the clock on his nightstand read 3:35 am. On his knees he slowly crawled out. He looked into the lit hallway. Nothing. He began to slowly pick himself up, that's when he felt a chill breeze on his neck. Terror filled his heart and his lungs could not take in any air. He turned to look over his shoulder as he began to shudder violently.

His gaze met two round and golden eyes that were hollow and expressionless. He lost his bowels and the faceless black that was behind him and in his closet howled and in the blink of an eye snatched him from reality and whisked him away to eat him!

You Get One Shot

2010-03-23T00:06:00.000-07:00

We're all going to die, and we only have one shot at life!

For most of us this may not be news. We have little reminders of these things in our daily lives. But recently with the absolutely untimely death of my Mother who was the greatest person in the world to me, I have been forced to stare at the end of my line. It's truly now that i come to my senses and see what is truly right and what is truly wrong. Oh I don't know everything and I am positive I will continue to make mistakes and continue to learn. But what I have learned is that we've got this one life to live, you know? Why should we spend it being bitter? Yes, it is sad that it takes the death of a loved one and after all these years to see the important things. For whatever reasons, we we're put into families and bound by blood to these 'other people'. Sometimes that turns out to be a good thing, a bad thing or perhaps for some, neither.

But like it or not, somehow, some way we are connected to them and they to you!

Now here I am not talking about people born into extremely abusive families where every day your loved ones belittle you or perhaps beat you til you are covered in purple and black bruises for a week or two. A family so bad I could not possibly hope for any reciprocal love. I can understand getting away from family members who mentally, physically and every which way abuses you on a daily basis. I came from alot of that and had my father to thank for most of it.

I am talking about the family who has its fair share of problems and somehow can't be human beings to each other for well, the life of them! People, there are loved ones all around us! If you don't hate or dislike a person why not get to know them better? Spend some time with them? Care a little. There's nothing left after this, folks, and even if there is, you're not taking this life with you. You want to know what happens? You die and then you go right inside a box and are put into the cold ground! That, or if you prefer, you are cremated and have your ashes freed over an ocean or something. Perhaps Aunt Zelda is keeping you nice and toasty over her fireplace in some state you only visited once or twice. In the very end, you cease to exist! There's no more planning, no more thinking, no more controlling other people's lives, no more happiness, no more laughing! You don't get to imagine what next year will bring, you won't know if your children are doing well in their own lives. You will never see another sunset, you will never again feel a cool breeze on a warm and sunny day!

The taste of a cold drink or the touch of a warm blanket will be no more! That person or people that made your life tolerable and decent will no longer be by your side or beckoned call! Do you get what I am saying here? Everything as you know it is taken away and you simply cease to be!

So why would anyone who doesn't have it so bad want to spend any more time on being selfish and bitter? Being closed off and a complete asshole?

If I could, I'd spend every moment I could with my Mom knowing that she would die soon! While my Mom was sick and in her last months, I was too busy giving myself to my job that I was investing so much in! Working 14 hour days I found it exhausting to even make phone calls as often as I would have liked. Oh I visited her and I did call. But its not enough and it never is, and it never will be again!

Now I am left imagining the talks we'd have, the laughs we'd have shared, the hugs I would get! Its all just lost time due to wasted time. I would give just about anything to see her again, to hear her again, to feel her unconditional love again! It angers me that others haven't had it as bad but treat each other with indifference and hostility. Frankly, its a very stupid thing to do with your life and you're wasting it!

So get out there, meet your loved ones again as though it were the first time! Don't be afraid to wear your heart out more on your sleeve. Don't be afraid to bash down that wall you've constructed so carefully throughout your entire lives! Its all really a state of mind and if you have the presence of it to make it your own, then you have a shot at making your one chance on this earth and in this life potentially the very fullest each and every day. Regrets could be few and love and laughter could abound!

You may think you are an intelligent human and that might very well be true, but its all for not if you don't actually LIVE your one life. Don't waste it. We're all here together, let's make the most of it! And why the hell not? Who's to say how much fun and life you're truly supposed to have? Ignore the idiots who try to pull you down, they haven't figured it out yet and they may never. That's their loss, don't let them make it yours as well.

It's really easier than you think to love one another unconditionally and truly!

You get one shot. Love. Live. Learn. The rest is life!